You’ve probably been to a gazillion weddings by now if you’re anything like me. But have you really ever thought about what it means to be a good guest at a wedding? There are whole books of etiquette written on the dos and don’ts in the world of weddings, but much of it is focused on what the bride and groom are supposed to do (or not do). Below, you will find an assortment of tips that will ensure that you are a wedding guest that is always welcomed.

One of the fist things you can do to observe proper etiquette is to RSVP. In proper French, that translates to Respond Please – not “IF you please”. Also, many people think that RSVP means you only need to take action if you are planning to attend, but RSVP by definition requires you to respond “yes” or “no” either way. Brides and wedding planners are expensive, time-consuming events and it is only common courtesy to let them know your plans by the stated date.

You should not wear white. Repeat, no white clothing of any kind unless you are specifically requested to wear white as a part of a theme, for example. White is reserved solely for the bride (except in rare instances that are at her approval) and a woman wearing white to a wedding is just asking for trouble. I speak from personal experience, as my sister-in-law arrived at my wedding dressed in head-to-toe white; in the commemorative wedding photographs people don’t know which “bride” to look at. That’s the main problem with wearing white – it draws the eye toward it in photographs, sucking the attention away from the bride.

Another mark of being a good guest is to arrive earlier than the stated start time to the event. This is one time when it is absolutely NOT fashionable to be late. Typically the time on the invitation is the time that the music is queued and the bride starts walking down. It is embarrassing for everyone if you barge in on the ceremony when it is already in progress. Also, take signals from the bride and groom for when it is time to leave the party. Often, their rice-tossing “get away” into the car is a clear sign that the party is winding down. If you are one of a dozen people left and are still looking for scraps at the buffet, it is time to head home.

Often you will find special wedding favors left on the reception tables for the guests to take home. Do not abuse this token of thanks by scurrying from table to table gathering them up like a squirrel storing nuts for winter. The wedding favors left at your place setting alone are the gifts intended for you. Or, if the wedding favors are left at the door, the policy is usually only one of the wedding favors per invited guest. Be considerate! The bride and groom and planned their event for months; help keep it special by being the best guest you can be!